Friday, June 30, 2017

You Can’t Do That On Chat!

Since the global financial crisis, all sorts of investigations have gone on in the financial markets, and some very interesting chats have been made public. We're collecting some of the more saucy IMs and phone calls here, in their original form (with spelling errors retained):

UBS [Trader A]: and if u have stops….
UBS [Trader A]: oh boy
Deutsche Bank [Trader B]: HAHA
Deutsche Bank [Trader B]: who ya gonna call!
Deutsche Bank [Trader B]: STOP BUSTERS
Deutsche Bank [Trader B]: deh deh deh deh dehdehdeh deh deh deh deh dehdehdeh
Deutsche Bank [Trader B]: haha16 
June 2011 | electronic chat (likely) | Product: Silver Futures | Deutsche Bank & UBS
In re London Silver Fixing Ltd Antitrust Litigation Proposed 3rd Amended Consolidated Complaint

Trader to prospective cartel member: “mess this up and sleep with one eye open at night.”
2011 | electronic chat | Product: FX (one month trial to join "cartel") | Barclays | Link

(Future) Co-Head of UK FX Hedge Fund Sales: “markup is making sure you make the right decision on price . . . which is whats the worst price i can put on this where the customers decision to trade with me or give me future business doesn’t change . . . if you aint cheating, you aint trying.”
Nov. 2010 | electronic chat | Product: FX | Barclays | Link

Broker-B (non-UBS) to Trader-1: “mate yur getting bloody good at this libor game . . . think of me when yur on yur yacht in monaco wont yu”
June 2009 | electronic chat | Product: LIBOR | UBS | Link

Employee 1 to Employee 2: “[We] can’t mark any of our positions [to market price], and obviously that’s what saves us having this enormous mark to market. If we start buying the physical bonds back then any accountant is going to turn around and say, well, John, you know you traded at 90, you must be able to mark your bonds then.”
June 2007 | telephone chat | Product: RMBS/CDOs | AIG | Link 

Analyst #1: Btw (by the way) that deal is ridiculous. 
Analyst #2: I know right…model def (definitely) does not capture half the risk. 
Analyst #1: We should not be rating it. 
Analyst #2: We rate every deal. It could be structured by cows and we would rate it.
April 2007 | electronic chat | Product: RMBS/CDOs | S&P | Link

Trader-10: “Good morning [Submitter-4], [Trader-10] here.. could we please ask you to put in low 1m fixing pls”
Submitter-4: “Difficlt, think [Senior Manager-6] wnarts it [] on the high side”
Trader-10: “Oh no!! But ladies first no ;))?”
Submitter-4: “First come first serve.”
Trader-10: “Exctly.. And we have been begging you for last two month!!”
Submitter-4: “But u dont sign my bonus right?”
Trader-10: “Hahah hmmm.. Unfortunately not...”
Oct. 2005 | electronic chat | Product: EURIBOR | Deutsche Bank  | Link

Trader 3: “LOWER MATE LOWER !!”
Submitter 1: “will see what i can do but it’ll be tough as the cash is pretty well bid,”
Submitter 1: “ok, let’s see if we can hurt them a little bit more then.”
Sept. 2005 | electronic chat | Product: LIBOR | Deutsche Bank | Link

Trader: “I was front running EVERY single offer in usdjpy and eurjpy.”
Trader: “call me a legend! Front run legend.”
Trader: “jamming some stops in eurusd here at 0515”
Trader: “the day of intervention, i was front running EVERY SINGLE ODA and I mean EVERY haha” 
Dates unknown (multiple) | electronic chats | Product: FX | UBS | Link

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